Trevor's Story

   Also available on YouTube. To listen, click here.  

Season 1, Episode 8

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Trevor Botkin tells his story of recovering out loud from the superintendent's office to using alone in a basement. We start our conversation discussing what, if any, of the various initiatives addressing substance use in the trades, would have made a difference to Trevor at the height his unregulated drug use. Trevor shares his mindset: his fear of being uncovered as an imposter, feeling defeat, lack of hope, and fearing the catastrophic loss of respect that was his only reason for being. Trevor hopes that frank conversations like Off the Clock Toolbox Talk will help other men in the trades be able to connect and think, "Fuck, I know exactly what that guy is talking about."

Trevor talks about all the rules he had for keeping his drug use balanced with his work, and how respected he was for striking that balance, until he had broken all his rules and was no longer able to function. He discusses how his self worth is still wrapped up in "what I produce for other people". He hopes other guys in construction will join him and Off the Clock Toolbox Talk in finding a better way as we have access to technology to communicate our experiences and learning with each other, like we never have had before. Trevor does his best impression of himself as a crusty old construction worker who is resistant to exploring new pathways.

Trevor hopes our construction leaders can say to all their employees, "I want the best things for you... get to a safe space so you can come back to us." He suggests that men in the trades might be surprised to find more of an audience to talk about emotional hardship amongst their peers than they think, but they'll never know if they don't speak their truths first.

Parts of Trevor's story can also be found in Building Hope: Substance Use in the Trades: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BFiCM1Qlmk and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JBA7l68u9Y

Explore more episodes of Off The Clock Toolbox Talk here.