top of page
Forging health in the
unregulated drug crisis
through real f**king talk.
ENTER TO WIN A $200 GROCERY CARD
Listen to at least one episode and share your feedback by completing our anonymous survey.
You'll be given the opportunity to win a $200 grocery card. Must be 19+ years old to participate.
https://survey.ucalgary.ca/jfe/form/SV_2hs1SfRcJBvBYRo
SEASON 3
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
The Season 3 Sampler lets you get a bite of each episode:
1. Shawn's Story
2. Aeris' Story Part 1
3. Jason's Story
4. Superintendent Summit
5. Losing Someone to Overdose
6. CSO Shane's Story
7. Aeris's Story Part 2
Covering lots of really tough stuff, and emerging with our humanity intact, this sampler is all about connecting to each others' stories.
1. Shawn's Story
2. Aeris' Story Part 1
3. Jason's Story
4. Superintendent Summit
5. Losing Someone to Overdose
6. CSO Shane's Story
7. Aeris's Story Part 2
Covering lots of really tough stuff, and emerging with our humanity intact, this sampler is all about connecting to each others' stories.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
"Aeris’s Story - Part 2" picks up where Aeris is just coming back to reality after being in a coma for approximately one month. His steadfast family helps him slowly recover from kidney, liver and brain damage. Advocating on his behalf, his family asks the doctors for a pain specialist as they believe Aeris consumed poisoned drug supply because he was attempting to self-medicate his pain from multiple surgeries and ongoing complex medical diagnoses.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
As rod buster Aeris Finch refers to partway through his story, his struggle really began at age 11, when he lost his older brother to an MDMA accident. But some of the effects of that trauma didn’t emerge until he began experimenting with substances himself as a teenager. Another layer of complexity emerged when Aeris developed painful and debilitating Crohn’s disease while working rebar as young adult. While Aeris’s description of his day-to-day existence with Crohn’s is graphic, it highlights the desperation of ridiculous circumstances that many tradespeople with extreme stressors have to navigate while trying to meet the grueling demands of physically intensive labour.
The stakes rise yet again in Aeris’s story as he desperately clings to the company he works for, doing everything he can to provide for his new family, and in the midst of trying to find some brief relief, comes into toxic drug supply, and stops breathing for long enough that for all intents and purposes, he is brain-dead. Remarkably kept alive for weeks by machines and medical interventions, Aeris survives against medical prognosis. We leave Part 1 as Aeris emerges from his coma and begins to return to reality from intense brain swelling. But the story is only half over. Listen to Aeris’s Story Part 2 to find out what happened next as Aeris tries to recover from hypoxic brain injury from drug poisoning.
The stakes rise yet again in Aeris’s story as he desperately clings to the company he works for, doing everything he can to provide for his new family, and in the midst of trying to find some brief relief, comes into toxic drug supply, and stops breathing for long enough that for all intents and purposes, he is brain-dead. Remarkably kept alive for weeks by machines and medical interventions, Aeris survives against medical prognosis. We leave Part 1 as Aeris emerges from his coma and begins to return to reality from intense brain swelling. But the story is only half over. Listen to Aeris’s Story Part 2 to find out what happened next as Aeris tries to recover from hypoxic brain injury from drug poisoning.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Superintendent Summit features in-depth discussion about how to lead work sites in a day where all our crews are affected by mental health and overdose (drug poisoning). From their own experiences, Superintendents Duncan Jordan and Trevor Botkin together with CSO Shane Seawell discuss many of the factors that have to be juggled between the demands of the business and the wellness of the crews; both ends have to be balanced to produce profit and have a crew healthy enough to produce the profit. Duncan and Trevor discuss that a super’s job is not to be a psychologist or counsellor. But when they can build a crew where people feel seen and heard, where the super is perceived as approachable by crew members, when crew members see themselves as invested in the physical and mental safety of the worksite, then striking the balance between profit and wellness becomes attainable. The development of these social skills, however, are not typically afforded to a superintendent; it often happens through a super’s personal journey or recovery. And that’s difficult to facilitate as an active Superintendent.
Duncan emphasizes the importance of education in all things safety – physical on site safety, safety with drug use, and safety with one’s mental health. Duncan gets personal and tells us how he tries to educate folks through the story of loved ones he’s lost to suicide. Trevor shares that he’s also lost beloved crew members to suicide as well. They agree that these losses drive them to take an extra moment with crew members, friends and family, even when there’s so much on their plate. Co-host Karen ties it up with a feeling that project participants have expressed before, that all these beloved people we’ve lost in construction, that perhaps its their energy that carries us forward in the work we do, to create a world where people can talk about these things, where previous generations could not.
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, 988 is Canada’s suicide crisis line. You can call by yourself, 24/7, or you can call together with a buddy. Many of us in the Off the Clock Toolbox Talk community know these feelings and are sending out our love and hope to you.
Duncan emphasizes the importance of education in all things safety – physical on site safety, safety with drug use, and safety with one’s mental health. Duncan gets personal and tells us how he tries to educate folks through the story of loved ones he’s lost to suicide. Trevor shares that he’s also lost beloved crew members to suicide as well. They agree that these losses drive them to take an extra moment with crew members, friends and family, even when there’s so much on their plate. Co-host Karen ties it up with a feeling that project participants have expressed before, that all these beloved people we’ve lost in construction, that perhaps its their energy that carries us forward in the work we do, to create a world where people can talk about these things, where previous generations could not.
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, 988 is Canada’s suicide crisis line. You can call by yourself, 24/7, or you can call together with a buddy. Many of us in the Off the Clock Toolbox Talk community know these feelings and are sending out our love and hope to you.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
CSO Shane Sewell (different than Shayne’s Story) takes us on his heart’s journey from an 8-year-old with an invisible disability and an abusive parent, to an adult inner life that was continually erupting with low self esteem and feeling like he wasn’t good enough. Shane relates to many with tales of public school failure, difficulty fitting in, and eventually living a life that centred around substance use. Shane’s unconscious trauma responses, that outwardly appeared in his drug and alcohol use, caused the loss of his first marriage and brought him to a place where he couldn’t even carry on basic life functioning. With no other options, he entered treatment at Maple Ridge Treatment Centre and began putting the pieces back together. Eventually Shane found a new partner whom he credits with helping him recover. Together they had a daughter, and Shane began noticing that he was doing all the same things to his family that his dad had done to him. A return visit to Maple Ridge Treatment Centre gave Shane the tools and recovery capital he needed to build a life that had meaning for him. He found that meaning by helping others through his work as a CSO, which feeds his soul as much as it feeds his family.
Thank-you, Shane, for helping us understand through our hearts, which sometimes work better than our brains.
Thank-you, Shane, for helping us understand through our hearts, which sometimes work better than our brains.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Jason White, electrician and former rock star hopeful, shares his story of substance use, addiction, and the sharp turn that snatched him out of a sinking darkness, showing him a better way of being. Like many people’s stories contain powerful moments of change, Jason’s includes a moment of divine intervention, followed up by an unlikely confirmation days later that played out on a tour bus in stopped traffic in the middle of the Trans Canada Highway.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
If you've been looking for relatable, non-invasive support after losing someone to overdose (drug poisoning), you've found it. Holding heartbreak in one hand and inspiration to take action in the other, Kale Moth and Julie Cochrane explore life after losing their loved one to overdose.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Ironworker, Shawn Underhill, joins Daniel and Karen to talk about his journey through problematic substance use and addiction. From Shawn’s early days smoking pot as a teen in his first construction job, to navigating problematic substance use in camps up north, to using to get through pain, grief, and exhaustion, Shawn demonstrates how recovery is anything but a straight line. Daniel and Shawn discuss how, on average, most people addicted to opioids struggle with that addiction for 15 years, but they do recover, even though it typically takes multiple attempts.
The recurring theme of Shawn’s story is his mom’s constant voice, in her life and death, urging Shawn to access help at Fraser House Society (the host organization of this podcast). And every time he returned, he grew more and more, adding to his toolbox, ultimately creating a life of beauty that he loves.
Shawn’s counsellor, Sam, jumps in at the end and Shawn and Sam give us some insight on what the first few weeks of counselling are like, and what its like to begin the counselling journey. Shawn closes out with a poem he wrote at a very dark time, to cultivate hope for us all.
Off The Clock Toolbox Talk
Men forging health in the unregulated drug crisis, through real f**king talk.
Learn more about the podcast series at TradesPodcast.com.
The recurring theme of Shawn’s story is his mom’s constant voice, in her life and death, urging Shawn to access help at Fraser House Society (the host organization of this podcast). And every time he returned, he grew more and more, adding to his toolbox, ultimately creating a life of beauty that he loves.
Shawn’s counsellor, Sam, jumps in at the end and Shawn and Sam give us some insight on what the first few weeks of counselling are like, and what its like to begin the counselling journey. Shawn closes out with a poem he wrote at a very dark time, to cultivate hope for us all.
Off The Clock Toolbox Talk
Men forging health in the unregulated drug crisis, through real f**king talk.
Learn more about the podcast series at TradesPodcast.com.
SEASON 2
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
The Off The Clock Toolbox Talk Season 2 Sampler serves up select appetizers from Season 2 episodes, combined with house-style transitional music to keep your groove on throughout your day.
The Season 2 Sampler features (in order):
1. Kayle’s Story - Kale Moth, Trevor Botkin
2. Squishy Meat Bags (I Don’t Have Trauma. You Have Trauma) – Jason White, Jonas Watkins, Sabine Sasakura, Karen Janzen
3. Psychedelic Surprise – Mike Mathers, Daniel Snyder
4. Shayne’s Story: The Aftershow – Shayne Taylor, Trevor Botkin, Karen Janzen
5. Rig Life (And Other Tough Work Sites) – Kale Moth, Trevor Botkin
6. Curious AF – Mike Mathers, Daniel Snyder
7. Shayne’s Story: The Aftershow – Shayne Taylor, Trevor Botkin, Karen Janzen
8. Ditch the Tough: Keep the Love – Kat Wahamaa, Daniel Snyder
9. Random Recovery Talk – Kale Moth, Trevor Botkin, Karen Janzen
Special thanks to the BC Sand Stone & Gravel Association for inviting Off the Clock Toolbox Talk to the BCSSGA Conference, and for standing behind our tradespeople in the drug poisoning crisis.
The Season 2 Sampler features (in order):
1. Kayle’s Story - Kale Moth, Trevor Botkin
2. Squishy Meat Bags (I Don’t Have Trauma. You Have Trauma) – Jason White, Jonas Watkins, Sabine Sasakura, Karen Janzen
3. Psychedelic Surprise – Mike Mathers, Daniel Snyder
4. Shayne’s Story: The Aftershow – Shayne Taylor, Trevor Botkin, Karen Janzen
5. Rig Life (And Other Tough Work Sites) – Kale Moth, Trevor Botkin
6. Curious AF – Mike Mathers, Daniel Snyder
7. Shayne’s Story: The Aftershow – Shayne Taylor, Trevor Botkin, Karen Janzen
8. Ditch the Tough: Keep the Love – Kat Wahamaa, Daniel Snyder
9. Random Recovery Talk – Kale Moth, Trevor Botkin, Karen Janzen
Special thanks to the BC Sand Stone & Gravel Association for inviting Off the Clock Toolbox Talk to the BCSSGA Conference, and for standing behind our tradespeople in the drug poisoning crisis.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
The conversation continues as Trevor, Shayne and Karen discuss ‘safety is behavioral’; these life-wisdom conversations need to happen in-person, breathing and sharing energy together, preferred where apps, lectures, and protocols fall short. Karen and Trevor confirm this same thread from the Random Recovery Talk episode https://www.tradespodcast.com/s2-ep5 where it emerged that recovery is leadership of self to recruit help. Recovery is not done in isolation; it requires a relational context with other humans, referred to as 'co-regulation'. And recovery is spiritual—however you connect with something meaningful outside yourself.
Shayne creates the metaphor of a toolkit; whatever recovery path you’re on, you’re gathering tools along the way with every experience to put into your toolkit. And we need to access those tools on a regular basis.
Trevor and Shayne discuss the power of Shayne’s confession that “The first lie I ever told myself is that I’m okay,” meaning all the things that brew consciously and subconsciously for years leading up to catastrophic blow-up. The group discuss the difficulties of recruiting help, yet it’s pivotal to moving forward in our own well-being.
The conversation ties up with Shayne’s suggestion of changing the terminology of “rock bottom” to “the point of return”.
Shayne creates the metaphor of a toolkit; whatever recovery path you’re on, you’re gathering tools along the way with every experience to put into your toolkit. And we need to access those tools on a regular basis.
Trevor and Shayne discuss the power of Shayne’s confession that “The first lie I ever told myself is that I’m okay,” meaning all the things that brew consciously and subconsciously for years leading up to catastrophic blow-up. The group discuss the difficulties of recruiting help, yet it’s pivotal to moving forward in our own well-being.
The conversation ties up with Shayne’s suggestion of changing the terminology of “rock bottom” to “the point of return”.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Shayne Taylor, Corporate Director of HSE at The Gisborne Group joins Karen and guest co-host, Trevor Botkin, to talk about his personal experiences with mental health and substance use. Uniquely, Shayne’s adulthood career path fluctuated between the construction trades and psychological care supports in mental health and substance use services, while his own binge drinking, substance use and associated harms carried on for decades. Shayne’s experiences in these two radically different fields ultimately led him to safety work in construction where he’s now a strong advocate for meeting regular people where they’re at, opening the door to better quality of life through human connection.
This episode contains mention of childhood sexual abuse, explicit drug use, and description of an overdose experience.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Continuing the conversation from “Curious AF”, Daniel and Karen talk with Mike Mathers who demystifies psychedelic therapy and the incredible results of clinical trials ongoing amidst a grey psychedelic market in Canada. Mike warns against covertly accessing psychedelics without clinical supports as psychedelics release undigested emotions that can be terrifying and even damaging if the user has spent a lot of time and effort avoiding undigested emotions that they didn’t know that they had.
Mike discloses his experiences of video game and cannabis addiction as a numbing response to the undigested emotions he had from divorce and loss of connection with his three young children. Mike articulates that when we can’t face painful feelings, they don’t die, they turn into zombies. Psychedelics are medicines of grief and love and help us face the painful feelings, and give us a chance to process them, arriving at self-forgiveness, ultimately allowing ourselves to move forward and grow. Mike points out how its important to “build a Temple of Regret” and visit it often, not to ruminate in the past, but to look, eyes wide open with curiosity, at how past painful experiences have hurt us, and then use that information to help us grow and move into meaning and our calling in life.
Like Karen, you too might be surprised at the unexpected gems and hacks around trauma and unwanted emotions in this episode of Off the Clock Toolbox Talk.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Therapist Mike Mathers joins Daniel and Karen to talk about his new book coming out in 2024, Curious AF. Mike sets us up to understand how the human mind operates as a social entity that needs to belong to a group, and influences us to operate to avoid shame, particularly childhood shame that we can’t even remember, but that our subconscious still accesses to inform our daily thoughts & decisions.
Mike talks about his common friend who is always there for him, “I’m a Fucking Idiot”, and how we have a relationship with “I’m a Fucking Idiot” and we don’t even know it. Daniel asks if all addictions are driven by shame. Mike says he calls shame “unconscious unworthiness”. He draws a link to feelings as data that provide information about our lives and what’s missing in terms of emotional regulation, social connection and meaning and purpose.
Mike goes on to explain that the antidote to shame is to get curious about it using “I wonder…” questions, whose answer doesn’t matter because you can’t be judgmental and curious at the same time. Curiosity changes what's going on in our mind and body and gets us out of shame.
Follow along with Karen who gets “therapized” in this episode. Early listener reviews have characterized Curious AF as a free half hour of damn good therapy.
Find Mike Mathers and information about his book, Curious AF, at https://www.wellnessevolved.ca.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Trevor, Kale and Karen drift through some random conversation on subtle aspects of the recovery journey. Kale discusses that recovery isn’t easy, but as you begin to feed yourself, you get strong AF. Trevor remembers how tied he was to his negative identities as a tradesman. Kale shares the energy that is brought to him when he opens his heart to the opportunities that recovery brings, even in the hours right before recording the podcast. Trevor remembers searching out recovery stories when he knew he needed to get off the ride but didn’t know how. He acknowledges that we just need to talk more openly with each other about what’s really going on, and what we’re learning and understanding as men.
Karen shares her emotional expertise: that emotions are just there to help you figure out what’s going on, and what to do about it. Trevor reflects on his frequently asked question, “if we’re so fucking tough, why can’t we talk about our feelings?”
The group discusses Johann Hari’s quote, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection,” connection to self and others, and wtf is self love? And how do you get it? Trevor brings in the role of spirituality [not religion] in understanding self love.
Karen adds her post-conversation thoughts that recovery is actually about leadership of self. Recovery is social; we don’t recover in isolation. Recovery is vulnerability that transforms into leadership.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Daniel chats with podcast project partner, Kat Wahamaa from Mom’s Stop the Harm about losing her twenty-five year old son Joseph to the unregulated drug crisis, and about the unintentional and intentional harms that are taking place in Canada, from decision makers in Ottawa to families sitting around their tables at home. Kat points out how the drug poisoning crisis is traumatizing an entire generation of children whose parents have been killed by unregulated drugs, including Joseph’s two young sons.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
An expanded part of Kale’s Story, Trevor Botkin and Kale Moth discuss the specifics of working on an oil rig and other tough work sites. Belonging and paychecks pull us in. Identity and pride in hard work keep us there. Kale says, “That much time spent with the same 4 or 5 guys… you’re spending more time with them than your actual family. That group almost becomes your family… You get a full-time job, and a part-time relationship. And you just gotta understand, that’s the way its going to be.” Trevor talks about the guilt he had about his family getting the table scraps of his life and energy, but the balance was his family had all the shiny things they needed. Trevor describes an oil patch colleague who struggles with the extreme change of culture between spending time on his crew and coming home to his wife.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Self-identified squishy meat bags, Jason (guest co-host), Karen (host), and Jonas (OTCTBT Steering Committee member), discuss trauma with Registered Clinical Counsellor, Sabine Sasakura. (Go to 18:51 for the squishy meat bag context). Starting with trauma referenced in the Deconstructing Your Inner Asshole episode https://www.buzzsprout.com/2207100/13213723, and including the birth of children, the crew discuss how our daily lives are affected by trauma including what the fight/flight/freeze response looks like on a work site. They discuss anger and resentment. Karen lightbulbs at the given definition of resentment: when you’re mad because you didn’t make or keep your own boundaries. Sabine helps us understand how we subconsciously experience trauma when we’re working in a place that is inherently physically or socially dangerous. Jason identifies the foundation of anger: fear, and the group squirms a bit at the truth of it.
CLICK TO LISTEN & LEARN MORE
Twenty-five year old Kale Moth tells his story of being swept away by life on an oil rig at the ripe old age of 18. With guest co-host Trevor Botkin, Kale explores what he thought it meant to be a man, and how his commitment to self and family rapidly deteriorated with the introduction of harder drugs that can be commonplace in the oil and gas industry.
Kale's deterioration led to loss of employment, and eventually loss of housing. In 2018 Kale remembers sitting in the McDonald's he frequented for free wifi, and getting the shocking news that his cousin, Cody, had passed away from drug poisoning. Eventually the Cody Anders Memorial Scholarship was established to help fund others access treatment, and Kale become the first recipient of the scholarship in his cousin's name.